“Most humans are never fully present in the now, because unconsciously they believe that the next moment must be more important than this one.
But then you miss your whole life, which is never not now.”
I read this quote and felt like there was a gigantic arrow point at me of GUILTY. It’s not a bold statement to say I struggle with being present. I think that we all do. Our entire lives are geared towards juggling as much as possible and glorifying exhaustion. Saying you are going to focus on one thing is somehow seen as weakness. I am so, so guilty of lying to myself and saying I can take on more and still be in the present. Nope. If I have 15 tabs open in Chrome, there is no way I am present on all those pages. The same goes for my life.
I’ve known I’ve needed to engage in the NOW for a long time, but it’s been very apparent through dating and also managing someone, I have to focus and make an effort. Being present isn’t just something that is instinctual for me. I’m driven to focus on the next thing, how I could do better or harshly critiquing myself. My therapist even commented to me that from her perspective, being present is one of the things I need to work on most.
So with all that said….
5 Ways I’m Working on Being Present
Stop wasting scroll time – One of the things I’ve realized since the Instagram algorithm change is how much time I waste on Instagram. Why? I never get to see what I WANT to see and nothing I do increases my engagement. I really thought that if I liked everything I was seeing it would show me to more people. Nope. Truly nothing I do changes my engagement. So why beat myself up? I’ve engaged so much less with it to be more present. This weekend I also went through and unfollowed about 75 bloggers/companies. I felt great because I have less content to get through and I see MORE from the people and influencers I actually want to see.
During weeks at work when I am gone I am barely on Facebook or Twitter. I DON’T MISS ANYTHING. I really don’t. So why do I care so much more when I am at home? I could be using that time for so many more things that put me into the present. I don’t personally post on my Facebook account, just my blog page. I’m working on eliminating checking it more than once in the morning and once in the evening. Key word is WORKING. I wish I could get back all the time I’ve wasted refreshing it to see what others are doing with their lives instead of living mine.
This is so corny, but I close my eyes. My therapist actually is the one that has asked me to do this. Closing my eyes and focusing on ONE thing and being present in the moment. Sometimes that’s as simple as closing my eyes when washing my hands. Whatever it is, closing my eyes has really helped me focus on being present.
Stop multi-tasking. I have had to stop multi-tasking at work. I felt ashamed that it was a sign of weakness, but I KNOW it is not. It’s actually a sign of strength to know and stand for what I need. The glorification of doing so many things at once has stopped. I give myself “time-outs” when I feel like I’m trying to do too many things. Too many open tabs in my brain and chrome = NOT being present. This has especially become apparent since someone has starting working with me. The one feedback piece I got from her was that I needed to be more present for her when she’s talking. Oof. Noted and working on!
Creating the life I want. I’m really in love with my life right now. And I don’t see any signs of loving it less soon. The more work that I put into building the life I want, the more I am engaged and proud. That has translated into being there in the moment. I want to soak up all that this season has to offer. (I know not every season is great, read my post on depression.)
This quote resounds with me so much because it’s signaling a change in my efforts. The next moment isn’t as important as this one, this moment is the one that matters.
“Most humans are never fully present in the now, because unconsciously they believe that the next moment must be more important than this one.
But then you miss your whole life, which is never not now.”
Go live your best present life.
Rachelle
Yes to all of this! Being present is the best gift you can give yourself. You look lovely in that little dress.
xo
Pinksole
Dorota
That’s exactly what I’ve been thinking lately. For a period of time I have been pretty much brainlessly watching YouTube videos and scrolling sites and then, last December I realised that doing something just to do it is worthless. If I want to visit a blog I simply want to read the content and get something from it (like a tip, or getting to know the author and seeing his point of view) and not scroll and not remember what I read in 5 minutes.
Like I said once in one of my posts: “slow life” is so much better for me than the fast pace I’ve been living ever since I started working. I need more rest and relax than before and I have to face it.
I really liked your post, it’s very sincere.
Dorota
http://www.fetchcandle.wordpress.com
Meg @ Closet Fashionista
This is so true! I’m very guilty of not being present but it’s just so hard to focus on one thing or one person at a time. Definitely something I need to work on as well.
Karly
So happy that you’ve recognized this in your life and are taking positive steps to better it! It has been so refreshing to step away from Instagram/social lately … I mean seriously, we miss nothing. And, I’d so much rather be out living my life than scrolling through others!
Ainsleigh
Lovely dress! And challenging thoughts!
Lyddiegal
You do have a good point. We are so worried about the future that we forget about the present. And I’m feel so sick of social media as well. No matter what, I feel like I can never get ahead or where I want to be, and it really is sad to spend your life looking at other people’s and feel inadequate.
Chic on the Cheap
Dana
Such a great post, my friend! I totally need to take your advice, because like you I always have 15 tabs open (in my head and on my computer).
The Champagne Edit
JenG.
So true. I love your insight on this.
Priya Pappu
This is a great post and so, so true. I’m glad you shared what’s working for you! I’ve even gone as far as delete the Instagram app off my phone for a while so I don’t get stuck scrolling. But I need to work on that for Twitter, lol.
Priya the Blog