You Are Enough: What A Boudoir Photographer Wants You to Know

I am so excited to introduce you to Tay! She actually did my boudoir session (more on that when I’m ready to talk about that story) and I wanted you all to meet her. Tay is incredible, hilarious and had the best reaction to one of my one-liners ever. “The most toxic thing about men is they have mothers,” (long story on that quote) and she literally went screaming and dancing around the room because well, it’s true.

Please note: There is no actual nudity but please use discretion if you aren’t comfortable with this topic.

Our Stories are Probably Similar

I grew up extremely aware of my weight. It didn’t matter if I was skinny (which most of the time I was) or was finally putting the weight on everyone insisted I needed to gain. I didn’t matter. What I looked like, however, mattered. It mattered so much. If I was thin enough, I was too loud. Once I was fat, I was too aggressive. There was always something.

I wasn’t alone in that.

I considered giving statistics and going into an elaborate illustration of what societal pressures on women’s bodies are like. I decided against it because we see it and live it every day and I don’t think anyone needs a real reminder.

What we do need a reminder of though, consistently, is that we are enough. We do need to know that it is okay to take up space and exist and ask to be treated the way that we deserve to be treated. Sometimes all that we need is courage.

That’s what boudoir is for me. Boudoir is the courage I need, it’s the thing that has personally healed me, and it has become something I believe in above all else.

Boudoir is also incredibly important because the three things I listed above? They may not be how literally anyone else who comes into my studio feels. This experience is so much different for so many other people. I’ve had people come in to reclaim their power after getting divorced. I’ve had clients who desperately just wanted to do something new, exciting, and different. There has been healing from sexual trauma in my studio, and for some people even just the brand of “Good Bodies” has given them hope and strength where there otherwise was none.

Don’t Call It a ‘Glo Up’

In the studio, we focus on transformations. These transformations are generally physical and mental. I show before and afters but only to show that literally any person on the street who wants this can have it. I’m not making my clients look better by any stretch of the imagination. I’m just providing a boutique service where they can feel pampered and cared for.

People who don’t understand the genre of photography think that it’s just taking your clothes off and “posing sexy”. When there’s so much more to it. There’s an enormous amount of vulnerability involved in this. It’s why I ask each and every one of my clients their “why”.

If you are someone coming in because you experienced a trauma that directly relates to your body then even the simple act of being in a state of undress in front of someone you met on the internet can be incredibly emotionally draining. Then there’s the physical aspect where a lot of people are treating themselves to a few hours of pampering and then bending their bodies in positions they haven’t ever before all while trusting that the person behind the camera (me) is capturing them at their best and ensuring they don’t look “silly”.

During sessions, there’s something I call a client’s “magic moment”. Sometimes it happens 20 minutes into a 90-minute session and sometimes it happens on minute 87. It’s the moment something clicks, and they start feeling themselves. This can look like a small movement that I didn’t prompt them to make. I’ve also seen it look like making slight changes in their body language or applying tips I gave them earlier in the session.

Often, it comes at the very end of their session when they’re nude and at their most vulnerable.

Boudoir Myths, Debunked

There are a few things I think are important to keep in mind when you start to hit your own roadblocks about boudoir. Honestly, there are a million reasons I’ve heard as to why people “can’t” have their session or “aren’t ready”.

Boudoir isn’t gendered. I’ve photographed men, women, non-binary folx, and drag queens in the studio. If you want to feel the way you see my clients feel, you are welcome.
My studio is one for body neutrality/positivity and fat liberation. There should literally never be shame in your game. We speak kindly to and about ourselves in the studio. If you want to learn more about body neutrality and fat liberation, I’ve embedded some links.
People who choose to share their photos are not more or less than anyone who decides not to. Boudoir images area personal choice from the beginning to the end of the process. No one is obligated to share more of themselves than they want/are comfortable with.
I will never turn away a client for their reasoning when it comes to booking a boudoir session. That said, please always have it in your mind that the session is for yourself. I can’t count the number of times someone invests thousands with me only to leave their relationship and find the photos no longer have value. If the session is booked to celebrate yourself, to love yourself, and to value yourself with an extra perk being that your partner now has a book? Excellent. Those photos will always mean something to you.
Advocate for yourself in your session. If something doesn’t feel like “you”, it’s okay to say no. Don’t feel pressured to dress a certain way, do your hair or makeup a certain way, etc. I try to make this clear to everyone who comes through my doors but I think it’s important to know no matter who you book with.

Most importantly of all, if you have questions, find a photographer who doesn’t mind answering them. I have a womxn only boudoir group where people are encouraged to ask questions and tell their stories.

I encourage anyone who wants a session to have one.

Find a photographer whose work resonates with you, get comfy with your belly fat or lack thereof, your breasts or lack thereof, and anything else you don’t think deserves to be on display. You’re going to be amazing.

If you’d like to join the group, please join the VIP group. If you’re interested in booking a session, you can find my website here. If you’d like to check out some amazing folx I’ve photographed on Instagram, my profile is here.