That Time a Bird Pooped on My Head and I Cried

I don’t have the words to describe how traumatized I was by this incident. Honestly, I really don’t. I will do my best to describe to you how this incident happened. I was on a lovely day trip and was eating at Dean and Deluca in Kansas City. It was a gorgeous day and we decided to eat on the patio. Perfectly normal. We sat there eating lunch for about 20 minutes and suddenly I felt a drop of moisture. “Hm….Are there sprinklers on?”

Dress: TJ Maxx (Worn as skirt)/Top: Gap Outlet/ Shoes: Dillard’s/ Purse: Tommy Hilfiger/ Belt: J. Crew

OH MY GOSH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And then I realized what happened. I HAD BIRD POOP IN MY HAIR! Not my top that I could have changed. No, my hair. I was sitting there screaming and crying because I was so panicked. My much older and wiser friend raced across the table and shoved my head into her chest to cover my eyes. Bravely she grabbed napkins and wiped it out of my hair. My other friend? Laughing so hard she was about to cry. 

When I came out of her chest for air, I was still crying. Then I was laughing. Then everyone on the patio felt so bad for me they instantly told me it was good luck. Then I texted the boyfriend to tell him what happened. He called, “…………………………….*laughter*……………….*laughter*…babe?”
“WHAT??”

“…………*laughter*……..”

“A BIRD FREAKING POOPED ON MY HEAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” 

“How are you doing………….*laughter*…?”

“HOW DO YOU THINK I AM DOING? I HAVE POOP IN MY HAIR!!”

“………….*laughtering*…..I’m really sorry baby”

“I HAVE POOP IN MY HAIR AND I WILL NEVER FEEL CLEAN AGAIN.”

I don’t even remember the whole conversations because I started crying because I saw another bird and started crying. When I get really upset my hands go crazy, almost like they are wings that are going to make me lift off. Let me tell you, my friends could barely see my hands because I was shaking them so hard. Then I cried again. 

Then I went home and ate ice cream and baked. And avoided nature at costs the rest of the weekend.