You Can and Should Take Up Space (No Matter Your Size)

Do you ever notice how, women mainly, are minimized to remove the impact or space they take up? Don’t take up space. Do try to minimize the impact of you in the room. Whether that is literally (body shaming) or at work, we spend so much of our time trying to minimize taking up any space. To the point that we apologize for simply existing. We preemptively plan on having to justify why we are sitting at the table on any given topic.

I physically and mentally take up more space now. In well, everything. My work, my relationships and even the internet! I often feel the pressure to apologize that my size 12 body takes up more space than it did a few years ago. Mentally? I’m excited to say I take up more space, dare I say more than my body. But the reason I’m excited is that no one knows how much space my mind occupies. My mind can be as expansive as possible and I don’t have to feel insecure about the presence it has in the room. But my body? I carefully take my seat at the table, making sure I sit in the most flattering way possible, no overhang of my love-handles. I do this so I can make sure I don’t take up more space than I am given.

You Have A Right to Take Up Space

Whether you take that space up because you are learning or you are a subject matter expert, you can be at the table. Your mind is always growing. If your mind takes up the same amount of space it did a few years ago, doesn’t that worry you that you haven’t grown? That’s exciting! Think about it!

Do you take up more physical space? Especially in the midst of a pandemic? Honey, you are doing your best (maybe not all the time, but you know you are trying) to survive. This is a pandemic. If the worst thing that happens to you is you come out taking a little more space? Well, is that really that bad?

My mind and my body take up more space and I think that’s a beautiful way to say, I’ve grown as a person.

There’s Room For Us All

Right as I felt like I was able to create that voice and take up space, social unrest kicked in. Suddenly it was my role to take a backseat and listen. And I did. Selfishly though, I wondered aloud to my therapist, “How do I balance wanting to have a voice and place at the table when I’m a white, Midwest female?” On the worst of days I felt like all my work to find my voice was being shoved into a corner. On the best of days, we all rise up together as one voice, no one is alone. Thank God my job doesn’t depend on social media sentiment. I would live and die off the mood of the day and never be able to actually learn and work through hard topics.

Here’s what I learned, we can all have a voice. We need you to. There’s enough room for both you and I to exist and welcome others.

Please also remember there is some much less qualified than you, at the table. If not you, who? You have value, just as you are. Your voice matters, just as it is. The physical space you take up does not define you. Your heart, your character and passion are what make up the beautiful version of you that exists.