Let’s take a seat. Get comfortable. Listen up bloggers, I say this with the absolute best intentions, but you need to stop whining. You need to stop pretending someone is forcing you to run your blog. Of course, some of you have a whole career of it and that’s great. However, I’m speaking to the 90% out there that don’t. Stop complaining about your lack of growth. Stop saying you can’t keep up. No one is forcing anyone to do this.
We are incredibly lucky that we have been given the opportunity to have a voice. We also have a responsibility to be aware of this and to use this voice in a responsible way for good.
Dress: Rebecca Taylor, Exact (size 10)/Boots: Exact / Bag: Similar
All of this is coming from my heart because I was there. In theory, I should have about 10,000 more followers than I do and I should be churning out content 4-5 times a week. But this blog is about what I want. It’s to put up content that I believe in and isn’t forced for posting sake. Sometimes I don’t post on Instagram because life sucks and I’m tired. Absolute props to those of you, and younger me, who are out there posting and churning out content like it’s their job and love it.
Dress: Rebecca Taylor, Exact (size 10)/Boots: Exact / Bag: Similar
But none of this makes me who I am. It helps tell my story to you but it’s not ME. I am not being personally attacked, although I want to say I am because I’m being dramatic. Even at my peek I very much realized, hey, no one is waiting for me to put out a new post. No one is depending on me to say BUY THIS. It’s all just me.
The pressure isn’t from anyone but yourself. Stop being a martyr to “blogging” pressure when in reality, maybe you just don’t have time! I can promise you it’s probably more annoying to hear you say so sorry I didn’t put anything up than it is to say hey, I’m really busy and life happens so I’m focusing on that. Or heck, if you fall asleep at 7 pm because you’re tired. Shrug it off. Don’t say well I know you all were waiting for this. We were not. Your mom wasn’t even waiting for you to post.
And I think that somewhere we lose the fact that a lot of readers are people who are invested in our story. They don’t care if you are posting a million times a week. They probably like that! My guess is if it’s too much for you to keep up it’s possibly too much to read.
I haven’t blogged as much because I’ve wanted to focus on my career, new hobbies, relationships and freelance work. I don’t feel guilty about it. Sometimes I can crank out 10 posts and sometimes I can barely write one in a whole day. Things ebb and flow, it’s the natural course. I also needed to spend a lot of time working on crafting passive aggressive corporate emails. I’m not apologizing, I’m owning it. I’ve entered new phases of my life.
I still believe that if you put out good content and be true to yourself you will in the end win. Maybe not in the numbers sense, but you will win in other ways and maybe we have to redefine what a win is. For me, a win is that I can look back and be mortified at the “issues” I used to have vs. what I have now. I can also track the story of my closet and have to deal with the possibility of people googling me when they search for “short upskirt french photos.” 
Beyond blogging, Instagram does suck. I hate that as a user I see a million ads and then my thumb gets sore trying to like everything and then I’m like somehow seeing some person I don’t even likes stuff but the people I do like I never see. It’s a whole problem because I feel like Instagram is saying no WE know what you want to see. You aren’t smart enough to do that on your own. Same with Facebook. Also thank you Twitter for being the worst and literally ignoring everything users want.
All of this is genuinely said in slight fear of getting a backlash, but also like I’m able to finally get out what’s been on my mind for months. In the end, if you stay true to yourself and follow what your gut is telling you, you will not lose. Your story is your story. Put your energy where you need to. Things change and we have to allow for that.
Thank you all for always being willing to listen, good or bad, me for who I really am.
Laura
I always love reading your posts! You always seem to take the words right out of my mouth! Preach on girl!
Dana
I LOVE THIS. I’ve been SO guilty of this sometimes, but I’m trying to feel less guilty about it. Turns out, when I do just post whatever the heck I want…I’m much happier with blogging and getting things done! Such a well-written post, Alissa!
Pink Champagne Problems
amy
Amen sister! Love this post! I couldn’t agree more!
Elise
Love this post!! It is so true and I am very guilty of doing this sometimes. Thank you for the reminder we are here, doing this by choice!
xx, Elise
http://www.sparkleandslippers.blogspot.com
Alison at Wardrobe Oxygen
I hope you don’t get backlash because you’re saying what needs to be said! All this whining, trying to con readers into IG engagement, complianing is driving me bonkers. You can’t beg your way to success. If you’re feeling burned out, take a break. If it’s not fun don’t do it. And if you stop comparing yourself to others you may find that you have a unique voice that people care about and you can create your own community that does engage. I don’t have a big Instagram following, I don’t get 100 comments on a blog post, but I truly love blogging, I love the community, the connection, the creativity and I *think* it shows in my content. Sometimes I get caught up in the dangerous web of comparison and it shows in the quality of my content. Who was it who said if you stay in your own lane you don’t deal with traffic? It’s such a great way to look at any business but especially blogging. Thank you for this post!
Meg @ Closet Fashionista
This is so true!! I’ve been blogging for 8 years (I think) and yet I see girls who’ve just started their blogs who have TONS more followers than me. I often wonder if it’s something I’m doing wrong or if they just got lucky. But recently I’ve started to slow down on posting too. Just 4 days a week and I don’t write much anymore since I pretty much just want to show the looks. It does bug me when people complain about not having the time to blog. You don’t have to do this. Even if it’s your full time job, don’t complain. You wouldn’t complain to a boss or a potential client about how you just don’t have the time for work, would you? Ha ha
http://www.closet-fashionista.com/
Randi
No backlash here, lady! I’ve always loved reading your posts, they’re so refreshing and candidly honest. Liiike I said on Insta, YES to this dress and these photos and A MILLION TIMES YES to this message! I’d rather read good content 100 out of 100 times than “oh sorry needed to get a post up soooo here are three links and an Instagram photo!” content. Happy Thanksgiving Alissa!
a href=”http://www.randiwithani.com”>Randi
Courtney
I love this girl. This really helped me because I literally complained on my insta story last night about my engagement going down. And like let’s be real people probably don’t care about my post. I’m putting it on myself so i can’t really complain.
http://sugarcoatedbears.blogspot.com/
Angela
So true, lady! and I absolutely love this outfit on you! Those boots are killer!
xo,
Angela
Alyssa
100% could not agree more with everything you said here! There are far too many bloggers complaining/being negativity like it’s their job. And while it’s true that bloggers have many job titles, being a negative nancy is not one of them!
Nikki
LOL I am completely and totally aware that NO ONE will notice if I don’t post, except my mom . She actually does notice and calls to find out if something is wrong if there isn’t a post. True story. I’ve cut back SO much on the blogging front because I want what I put out to be good, and I don’t want to put (self imposed) pressure on myself. I blog because I have fun doing it. When it stops being fun, I stop. I think that so many newer bloggers don’t get that. The people that make a living from it are few and far between. I started LONG before people were bloggers as a full time job. But it is SO easy to get caught up in the game. I’m guilty too. We all are. I’ve started doing some things to try to curb that though.
Also, social media is the worst. I follow people because I WANT to see what they are posting!! Blogging or not, I want to see what the people I follow post. I thought that was the point? Whatever.
Nikki
thefashionablewife.com
Liz
Nailed it, as usual. It’s so true: the comparison game will lead you to a whole lot of misery and unfulfillment. Being yourself online is hard sometimes… as a people pleaser it’s easy for me to get caught up in what I think people *want* to see, versus what actually moves me or is something I want to be talking about. And you’re right: the posts I’ve written that are actually of substance, about something I’ve been thinking about (and that I sometimes worry will strike a negative chord) are what I see engagement on.
AND YES INSTAGRAM IS THE DEVIL.
Brooke
Girl yes!!!!! A few months ago I was being internally whiny, frustrated with Instagram, etc. Then I sat back and was like why do I blog? What part do I enjoy? I love creating posts and connecting on other bloggers blogs. I really dislike Instagram, so I just quit paying a lot of attention to it and focused on what I like! I don’t even want to dedicate my every waking hour to my Instagram “story” or updating people on my every move, cause I’m really not that interesting haha! Love this post and your realness girl!
Brooke
pumps and push-ups
Shira
I’n definitely guilty of complaining (it’s usually internal though hahaha! That dress is perfection on you!
lauren
Love it! I have always thought it was odd for people to complain about this stuff publicly… but I do understand the comparison game. For me, it’s a lot to think about my full-time (and awesome!) job, photography, editing, writing, then on top of that, all the social media. The social media piece is what makes me feel stressed out. But I know that it’s my choice. I think my blog is my little corner where I cultivate memories to share and remember, that’s what I want to nourish. As opposed to constantly reminding myself to do an Instagram story, that’s just not me. I have also cut down from 3 posts/week to 2, as it’s much more natural for me. I do wonder about blogging as I continue to grow in my career and add kids to my family, I’m not sure where the time will come from or if it will continue to be a priority. Live in the now though, right?! 🙂
Alysa
Oh yes! One of my pet peeves is “sorry I haven’t posted in a while” and I know I’ve probably said it, too baha but it’s just like, no, just do what you gotta do man! 🙂 no need to apologize ever.
Jessica
PREACH!! I ove this post so much and yes, you get what you put into it!!
xo, Jessica || The Petite Diaries
beautygirl24
This all rings SO true and I am nodding along! The whining has been noted and I won’t ever begin a post with ‘”sorry I haven’t blogged in awhile…” I know I don’t enjoy it when others do it so I won’t either!
Jenna
This is SOOO true. We are what we make our blogs. It shouldn’t define us, however, that;’s why so many bloggers get so wrapped up into being discontent. Yet we forget that (like myself) we don’t want a career out of this. For myself, It’s a hobby and love. Nothing more.
Thanks for writing this and being open to such a touchy subject. I agree with you 100% 🙂
http://abeautifulheart07.blogspot.com/