Honest Confessions

Every year I do the dreaded “Let’s see what pants fit after this summer and how many pairs of new jeans I need to get.”


You probably can find me eating sour gummy worms after said trying on of pants day. 


I refuse to iron anything. Nope. If Downy Wrinkle Release doesn’t get it out, dry cleaning it goes. 


This scarf should have been ironed but seriously, who irons scarves? 


I panic at the beginning of every season thinking I will never be able to put together a cute outfit. 


I have big strong thighs and calves and therefore no boots will ever have space between jeans and my leg. Seriously, who has that skinny of legs? (I know, a ton of people do and you are probably one of them.)

I hate Flo. I frigging hate her so much.  I hate her name. Flo. My mom used to call my period Aunt Flo. Progressive, every time I see Flo I think of my period and want to boycott you. 

Flo says it’s hard to look good in corduroy. Whatever. She is irrelevant about any type of fashion; has she seen what she is wearing?


I didn’t do laundry for 5 weeks. Those Victoria’s Secret coupons for free panties got me through most of that. 


I have too much underwear. 


I am the queen of car seat dancing. I can do a dance off against anyone and win. 


I have to sleep with one foot outside of the comforter but if I have both feet outside I get cold. 


I am inexplicably filled with rage every time I see overalls. 


The only thing that makes me more ragey is leather overalls. 


I can’t deal with the super torn and raggedy high waisted shorts. Yo butt needs to be covered. Don’t look like a hussy. Cover those buns. Especially since we are frigging in the fall season. 


The end. 


What are your honest confessions?