It’s Okay if You Can Only Take Life 10 Minutes at a Time

Who said these things? “Just make it through 10 minutes.” “Don’t focus on anything other than the next 10 minutes and live in that.” “If you can make it through the next 10 minutes, you can do anything.” Me. These are all things I’ve told myself in the last year. Me, the person who loves planning, prefers to think about the future instead of the next two weeks. I couldn’t think past the next 10 minutes. It was all I could do to honestly stay alive. (The story is here)

As we deal with COVID-19 right now, the lessons learned during those 10 minute times are coming back to me.

It’s Okay If…

Hear my words please, especially me talking to myself. It is okay if you cannot take in life in days, weeks, years. When I was going through my break-up, I kept trying to look at the big picture which was the worst mistake. I had no answers for the questions that were in the big picture. Honestly (again, this is me to me), you can’t control anything, but especially your future. But what you can do is focus on how you take in things, react or process something for the next 10 minutes.

For me, I hate the first 10-15 minutes of a workout. Mostly because I always think I am halfway through a workout when I look over and realize we are still in the warm-up. There’s something about that 10-15 time-frame that I mentally struggle through EVERY single workout. Once I get through that period I can do it for over an hour, but that dang beginning part TORMENTS me.

My point is this, if you’re a high-performer who can handle impossible tasks and prides themselves on it (ahem), sometimes, yes, even you, have to take life in tiny segments because that’s all you can function at. That is not a fault or a flaw, that is you realizing where you are and equipping yourself.

It Is Also Okay If…

You cannot function at your daily level while going through trauma. It is also okay if your trauma isn’t someone else’s. Your trauma is yours, good or bad and there is absolutely no one that should tell you something isn’t traumatic if it has had an impact on you. (My wonderful therapist BFF has taught me this.)

None of us are not affected by COVID-19. And yet, none of us are affected in the same way. How is it somehow a unifier and also something that makes us feel so isolated? I don’t have that answer, unfortunately. I just know that it is okay if you used to at the top of your game and today you are trying to tell yourself just to make it through today.

For the Next 10 Minutes

There is an absolutely beautiful, gut-wrenching episode of Terrible, Thanks for Asking podcast called, ” For the Next 10 Minutes” about a relationship. I listened to it while picking up pizza and I was wrecked after it. It was so beautiful, so painful and raw. But the pivotal line throughout was, “You don’t have to do anything but do this for the next 10 minutes.” The man was so afraid of committing to a relationship but his partner finally said, “Can you commit to me for the next 10 minutes? I’m not asking for 10 years, just 10 minutes.”

The episode is beautiful. It was even more personal because that 10 minute ask was how I got through my own tragedy. The episode reminded me that I don’t have take in everything all at once. Perhaps what I need to do instead is taken in the few moments of life, relationships, experiences, the right now.

Just So You Know

You are stronger than you think, but that is exhausting. It is so tiring to keep digging into yourself to find that strength. Trust me, I know that so well. Maybe you don’t believe you have that strength but I believe you do. There is no shame in saying hey, I need to take 10 minutes. It’s okay if that’s as far in the future as you can see. You are not less valuable.

Love, Alissa