I’m not cool anymore. Well, the way that the things I see when I’m online I go… okay clearly my generation has left the cool era. But it echoes how I feel in my personal life.
It’s a rite of passage I suppose. I was never culturally “cool” but I was at least cool amongst my peers and was somewhat culturally relevant. I mourned it in this post, but I want seemingly the opposite of what’s “cool” right now. I’m not chill and never have been! I hate the casualization of everything. Dress up! Be lavish! I don’t want to show up without a plan and have an aimless evening. I don’t want to video every second of my life. Honestly, I don’t even want to watch videos from other people! In a time everyone wants to turn their brain off and consume, I want to create and expand my imagination.
Somehow, despite my confidence in living and seeking out what I love, there’s something that feels jarring about realizing this is sort of my time to exit stage right on “cool” in the social world. My generation? Eh, I can see the coolness, but mainstream cool is now with another generation.
I knew my time was coming but when I saw the official “cool girl aesthetic” that took over TikTok and IG this year I was like yeah… this is the next generation’s time. I do not need to revisit the horrors of my past, baguette purses, weird sunglasses, spaghetti straps, space buns, and the low-rise pants that still give me nightmares about the body image issues they created for a whole generation.
Oh and I got a text soliciting advice from a former intern because they consider me a mentor. Me. A mentor. Whew.
Cool Aunt? Meet Hanging Out Aunt
Growing up I INSISTED my aunt’s persona was the cool aunt. That was half of my personality. The youngest sister, single and able to crawl around and play house when the boring adults didn’t want to. But then we all sort of grew up. I haven’t taken a scientific poll (I did text my niece who told me she didn’t know how to answer this question.), there’s a bit less excitement around my arrival to things, I think it’s the waning of cool. While I might not be cool in the eyes of my nieces and nephews, I get to change from being cool to being the aunt you go to when they have questions about life, college, and relationships.
Recently my nephew and his girlfriend stopped over in Chicago and stayed with me. As we watched the Cubs be eviscerated in a 15-9 loss, I turned my attention to well, anything else. My nephew, his girlfriend and I were hanging out. My nephew is old enough to own his own home and beam with pride when showing me photos. Last year he had called me for advice about his relationship and how to approach difficult subjects. This year we navigated Chicago together, had a drink and ate Chicago dogs.
I’m hosting another nephew soon, his first visit to Chicago! Just a few days of hanging out, learning who he is as he starts college. Hanging out. I’m stuck on this because it’s such a cool rite of passage that while I may feel like I’ve passed my socially cool moment, I’ve entered this new era of “Hanging Out aunt.”
So What’s the New Cool?
My new cool is that I know what I want and I don’t care about other stuff as much. It’s such loud noise to me now, great for your lane, but probably not mine. (Okay, if you want to get pragmatic, yes, this is the true definition of being cool – being who you are in all aspects and comfortable with it.) I’m still type-A to my core and do a lot, but I’ve carved out my niches. It took quite a bit of figuring it out (and it’s going to continue to evolve as I do). It’s a celebration moment that I’m here, I’ll happily trade cool for content. My physical health has become my top 2022 priority and that takes a lot of discipline, consistency, and work. I’m back into reading for pleasure and prefer that to watching a movie.
Heck, I’m even trying to use my online community to join a book club, in my 30s. I thought I’d be in my 40s before that happened.
I guess, the new cool is really the regular cool that you are searching for when you’re younger. It’s not fitting in with everyone. It’s what you really want and aligning your life to that. And who honestly really cares about being cool in their 30s, 40s, and beyond?
Anyway, anyone want to hang out? 😏
