I’ve absolutely fallen into the “this is a classic” trap before. I’ve probably said on this blog that I’ll have an item for years and gotten rid of it after months. So, in an effort to actually tell you what I consider a classic, I’ve tested it for years before writing about it. Similar to how I’ve had my LV Clemence wallet since 2020. Both of these items have streamlined my decision-making by being things that bring me joy and complement my “uniform” goals.

Why I Purchased and Why I Reach For My Moyen Bag

I purchased the Clare V Moyen messenger for my trip to Ireland. At the time woven leather wasn’t at the forefront of street style. (Or I wasn’t aware of the chokehold Bottega was going to have on 2021-2022.) Initially I was worried about the style quickly dating itself or the leather not holding up. I’m thrilled to report that neither have come to fruition. With nothing but daily abuse and continual purse droppings by a clumsy self, she’s held up beautifully. There was even an incident with a dog getting their tooth stuck in the leather weave and it held up. (It’s a long story and yes – it was traumatizing to everyone involved, the dog, purse and myself.)

I think what makes this purse have sticking power for me is that it’s the perfect size. They did recently release the petite version for those that want an even more hands-free lifestyle. It’s hard in Chicago to find a bag that fits for formal events, Cubs and Bulls games, and you can shove exactly one bag of shredded cheese, four Greek yogurts and an apple along with a wallet, keys, lotion, etc. The ability to hold all all of this and spare me the $.07 fee for a grocery bag makes her the real VMP. (I refuse to make two trips from the parking lot to the condo so it’s crucial the bag not add to the extreme balancing act being caught on camera as I hobble between places.)

Moyen Accessories

Admittedly I do not enjoy accessory gimmicks. By that I mean the “gimmick” that is reversible clothing and accessories (one side is always, always better than the other) or the affront that changing a strap on a bag is enough to trick my brain into thinking I have a brand new item. However, with Clare V’s bags, something clicked. It could be the vast array of options that feel more intentionally curated – wait, I think that’s it.

When I purchased the Moyen messenger in 2021 it came with the standard short and crossbody strap. I texted two trusted stylists who said that neither would work for the Ireland trip it was intended for. However, my stylist Abby suggested that I get a formal chain such as this gold one. I scoffed at the price. And then purchased anyway.

It’s now 2023 and I’ve collected four straps from Clare V for my Moyen bag. The two original straps that came with it. The gold one I use for nights out and special occasions. I use this acrylic shortie strap (in black) acrylic shortie strap (in black) that I use in combination with the crossbody strap for daily use.

Moyen Messenger Over the Years

Here’s just a few examples of how versatile this bag has been since 2021. This doesn’t include the many, many outfit posts on Instagram stories where it’s a staple. Although many of my outfits include black, it’s absolutely gone with everything I’ve worn, for years.

It’s not often that I feel compelled to make an item associated with me. As we’re more aware of link-pushing influencer culture and how it shapes reccomendations, I’m focused on trying to make sure things really work for me. It may not work for you, but at least you and I know I made the recommendation earnestly.

The post My Favorite Bag I’ve Carried for Two Years appeared first on Honestly Relatable.

I am always drawn to sweaters and sleeves when shopping and for reason. I get so much more wear out of them than I do anything short or long sleeved! Many of the items I bought last fall for Ireland I am still wearing.

Monday Vibes

The occasion: I had been in a mental funk with work the last few weeks so I decided to start the week off by co-working at the Wing instead of my usual Thursday. I was getting ready that morning and realized something. Wait! I could just wear…. shorts! I’m not in a real office! I can finally wear a blazer and short set that I never understood before! The possibilities are endless!

What I wore: Ulla Johnson sweater, leather shorts, Zara mules (similar)

Burgers and Cocktails

The occasion: I met my friend Kaiti for one of Chicago’s top-rated burgers and a happy hour at Little Victories in Wicker Park. Kaiti is a great friend from college and we had a chance to reconnect when we discovered we both lived in Chicago.

What I wore: Free People one-shoulder bodysuit, Madewell Jeans and these $40 sandals.

Summer Saturday Kick-Off

The occasion: Italian dinner, cocktails at The Hi Lo and my first Mikos Italian ice of the season.

What I wore: An orange dress that is a few years old (apparently I’ve always been attracted to orange?) and I’ve worn here. Alice and Olivia heels, wicker purse I’ve gotten my $30 out of. (You do NOT need another wicker purse, trust me, one will be fine for years to come.)

Dinner and A Comedy Show

The occasion: Dinner at S.K.Y in Pilsen, Ester Povitsky comedy show at Thalia Hall and a drink after at The Green Tap where I pay entirely too much to play the entire Harry Styles album to patrons of a dive bar on a Friday night.

What I wore: This black dress which has become an absolute favorite. I can wear it off the shoulder for one-shoulder to turn up the heat when I want to. I paired it with my Clare V woven bag that I love so much and handmade gold sandals. Similar sandals can be found here and here.

Co-Working at The Wing

The occasion: Thursdays is our company in-office day. Since I’m a completely remote worker, I go into the Wing in Fulton Market. They just recently opened up so there’s not a ton of people utilizing it which means I often have the place to myself. I love Thursdays in general and only having to go “in” once a week makes me really look forward to it.

What I wore: Red wide-leg pants, white v-neck, blazer, Alice and Olivia heels.

The Happiest of Happy Hours

The Occasion: Meeting up with a photography-client-turned-friend! I shot a wedding on New Year’s Eve 2021. Courtney (the bride) and I have been trying to get together ever since. Our schedules finally aligned and we had a chance to have an espresso martini (and fries!) at Trivoli Tavern.

What I wore: My favorite SEA NY dress I got from Lyndon’s last fall, these slouchy booties and my Clare V woven bag.

Chicago Saturday Plans

The Occasion: My friend Melissa ran the Chicago 1/2 marathon and had a PR! I was so excited for her (and extremely nervous!) and we went to brunch to celebrate. She’s got the Chicago Marathon and the Chicago Triathlon so I foresee more celebration brunches in the future!

What I wore: Ulla Johnson sweater, white jeans, Zara mules (similar) and Clare V bag.

A Night in the Theatre District

The Occasion: I saw Moulin Rouge twice while it was here. I would have seen it a third if I had more time and the tickets didn’t continue to rise in price. Absolutely incredible and I think it genuinely got better every time I saw it. Chicago theatre is just truly the best and I’m so happy to have access to it. This was taken to kick off Melissa’s birthday week and just one of the best Chicago evenings.

What I wore: Zimmerman orange dress, Zara mules (similar).

The post My Favorite Recently Outfits appeared first on Honestly Relatable.

I know my love should be celebrated

But you tolerate it

— Taylor Swift

---

I left relief as the words hurt me. A painful relief of being able to describe your invisible wounds. I had to Google it to make sure I heard it correctly. (I didn’t want another Starbucks lover situation to happen.) How Taylor knew I had just been processing a lot of thoughts about my love, my intensity and the combination I’ll never know. But somehow she did and for that I’m very thankful. She forced me to think, once again, about where I am in in my relationship with love, in all forms.

• 

• 

---

This year I hope I fall in love. But not with a person. I hope I love fearlessly. But not shrink in the face of the test of love. I hope I spend an entire year falling deeply, madly, in love with my life and the things I don’t even know about yet. (You can read more about this here) More importantly, I hope I spend a year finding out it feels like to have my love celebrated. Not questioning what my intentions are. Not wondering if my love is too much for someone. Spending a year knowing my energy is the exactly the right energy for the right people and I don’t have to explain it.

I Will Not…

• Do mental gymnastics to make something work.
  • I don’t want to ever have to do the brainwork I’ve done to clear hurdles, army crawl under warning signs and crash through red tape.
• Think I need to make something work because life allowed them to be in my life.
  • Alissa, you have choices and you do not have to go with something just because it presents itself. Until you feel in your gut a YES, it is an absolute no.
• Undervalue the gift of my love, energy and presence in someone’s life.
• Make compromises on what I know I need.
• Minimize what I want out of a relationship and not advocate for myself.
• Be with someone I am not proud of.

It’s so hard to say these things because then I’m held accountable to them now. I can’t weasel my way around the things I deeply know the way I do when they are in my head. I’m accountable for them. To you, reading them, but most important, to myself. The vulnerability of having to say them inherently means I have undervalued my own love.

“You’re worth an even better Doug.”

A friend in a conversation about how I admire Kamala and Doug. His endless belief I deserve even better makes me tear up. He’s seen me at my best and worst and always seen the best for me even when I couldn’t.

I Will Wait For…

I cried a lot during inauguration, for the obvious reasons, but also because I was watching a love story unfold everywhere I looked. Kamala and Doug didn’t meet when they were in their 20s. They met when they were thriving in the career, a time when society says you’re supposed to have already figured out your love story. But I think my story will be like theirs and seeing that represented was so important to me. I will wait for that love story. Not the love story of being young and needing someone.

Below is a very incomplete list of things are below, as almost every month I realize what I want out of “love” as I grow in my relationship with myself.

• Someone who encourages my energy, passion and finds out how they can be part of it.
• A partner who understands the unique needs I have and doesn’t “tolerate” them.
• The feeling of being so present with someone else I can’t tell a single detail about the food, restaurant or people around me, except the person I’m with.
• Pride. Pride in our partnership, who they are, where we are going and their pride in themselves.

People have been unkind enough to say things like, “You can’t be picky, it’s a marriage market and you’re going to have to settle.” “You’re going to be dating in your 30s, you need to realize your choices are limited.” First of all, have you met me? I’m going to be even pickier now that you’ve said this. Second, maybe I will have to compromise, but I will never, ever settle. No. I’m not afraid to wait.

Honestly? When I was ending my engagement it was like the world shattered around me because I found out how many women had settled. They told me their stories of ignoring their gut. Or how they just didn’t want to be alone. Yet they were married and alone. I was gobsmacked by my loss of respect for them.

Maybe it won’t happen, but maybe it will. Don’t I deserve the chance to see what it’s like to be embraced and celebrated? I have a vision that someday I’ll have that partner. And they understand that I waited a long time for them and because of that I will have unrivaled energy that I pour into everything we do.

The post Why I’m Waiting for My Love to be Celebrated, Not Tolerated appeared first on Honestly Relatable.